


Positive and Negative

by TriplePirouette



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M, Poetry, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-30
Updated: 2009-05-30
Packaged: 2017-10-29 22:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/324851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TriplePirouette/pseuds/TriplePirouette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheldon's thoughts after The Vegas Renormalization and Penny's after The Monopolar Expedition in poem form. Two separate poems posted together inspired by Lisa Hannigan's Venn Diagram and Ocean and a Rock, respectively.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Positive and Negative

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 5/30/09, has not been edited since.
> 
> I mentioned that I write poetry in a thread on Paradox, and someone mentioned that we could use some S/P Poetry. I've actually never written poetry for a fandom before… so this is my first attempt. I hope everyone likes this. My style is usually very free form and contemporary, and though I enjoy it I do not consider myself a poet by any measure. All Con-crit is welcome.
> 
> Spoilers: Up to and including The Monopolar Expedition, esp. for The Vegas Renormalization

  


** Positive **

(Sheldon's POV)

 _ "I have lost you to sleep again _

_ Sleeping as we do on opposite sides of a venn diagram." – Lisa Hannigan, Venn Diagram. _

There is that void where we cross

And intersect

So gently and yet

So violently

Where two sides of opposite poles

Attract like magnets dragging themselves together

All it takes is a flip

And they'll push away so hard

Or pull

Together

I don't know what I'd rather do with you

The push is easy

It is the pull that I am unsure of

Graphing results all day

I've found no cause

Only the reaction

No source

Only the symptoms of sleepless nights and a longing

That tugs me closer to you

Every time

Your eyes light up the room

Siren's song calling to me

Across the void

Of the hallway

Of our lives

Of all the things that keep us polar

Of none of the things that we might have in common

Sleeping so far away tonight I remember the smell of your breath

As you sang

As you stuttered

As I tried to meet you halfway

But could not take that last step

And flipped until I pushed you away again

I long to lie

To lay

To traverse the lands where we intersect

And reach out for you and pull

Pull

Pull

Until every atom in our bodies

Attracts one another

I know the feel of your sheets

The smell of your fabric softener

The tickle of a stray hair on your pillowcase

Clinging to my eyelash as I wake up

But I do not know

The feel of your skin

Or what your breath sounds like

As it glides over the cotton of your sheets while you sleep

Are you asleep

Now

Ever

When I'm thinking of you? Do you think of me?

Over here on my side

In my spot

I'd like to make more room

For you to intersect

For us to share

Anything

Everything

But space is precious

I do not know if I can afford to lose any

And the space between us pulses

Larger

Smaller

Larger

Wider

Thus I have no prediction

No algorithm

No equation

That gives me an answer

Or sleep

So I'll dream of you in your bed

So far away

And yet so close

Push, pull

I can't pick

Won't decide for you

And we'll intersect in the void

And you'll push

And you'll pull

One day I'll decide which flip

Will close

Or widen

The gap

And it will be right and violent and beautiful

I won't have to stare at you

Across the chasm

Anymore

 ** Negative **

(Penny's POV)

 _ "What you at my gentle spoken friend _

_ I lack a frame to put you in _

_ When you're an ocean and a rock away _

__

_ I feel you in the pocket of my overcoat _

_ My fingers wrap around your words _

_ They take the shape of games we play." – Lisa Hannigan, An ocean and a rock _

There is no one to challenge

To challenge me

And you're so far away that it's tomorrow

Or maybe yesterday where you are

I imagine that you already know the future

Or perhaps it is just the past

And I missed it…

Miss the words that used to spill from your lips

So easily

That were caustic

That were strong

That were demanding

That were gentle

That were so hard to understand

But I can't hear your voice anymore

Lost to the wind on another continent

Even digital ink to computerized paper

Isn't as elegant

As I imagine you need to be

Somewhat more realized

You are in my mind

Putting quill to ink

And I laugh

Thinking of you in a hat with a feather

But you would wear it

As it was appropriate

And smile

A smile I never see often enough

Enough so that it is a mystery to me

How to coax it from you

And I try

Again

And again

To see it

Did you know that?

You'd explain

That in the bigger picture

You are not so far away

Giving me a decimal point

Or a percentage

That is infinitesimal

Compared to the rest of my lifespan

But those seconds tick by so slowly

…you'd have an answer for that too

That our relative positions have changed

And we're moving at different speeds

I can hear your frequency hum

At a different tone

So far away are you

I can't reach

Can't pull you to me

I don't know if I could do it

Even if you were a few feet away

The space between us is filled

With things that you could surely understand

But I do not

Even that is one of the mountains

One of the valleys

That keeps us apart

Another piece of electronic mail

From you

And I print it out

Your words sitting in my pocket

With me wherever I go

Because you cannot be

I don't know if you would want to be

Even if you could

I have no frame

Of reference

Or beauty

Or logic

That I understand to put you in

You are as wild to me as the particles you hope to capture

Out in the harsh winds of the world

In that untamed mess half a world away

You might as well be across the hall

For all the space between us


End file.
